A Sick Dog
A couple buys this cute little dog. They take him home and two days later the dog becomes very lazy. It won't eat, doesn't bark, heck it doesn't even move at all.
So the couple decides to take the dog to the Vet. The Vet looks at the dog and then lays it on the floor. He then brings a cat into the room and sets it beside the dog. The cat crawls all over the dog for several minutes and then runs around the dog four times before the Vet picks up the cat and puts him back in his cage.
The Vet then turns to the couple and says, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your dog is dead... That'll be $225.00."
"$225.00?," screamed the outraged man. "You expect me to pay you that much just to tell me my dog is dead?"
The Vet replied, "It's only $25.00 for the office visit and $200.00 for the Cat Scan."
......thanks to: http://wallofjokes.te-c.net/
How Dogs are Better than Men:
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you- - except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.(OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
How Dogs and Men are the Same:
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both mark their territory.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
...thanks to: http://www.shooterdog.com